Earthbound
Surreal
It was a surreal feeling to gain and lose everything she’d ever wanted at the same time. To have the one she loved standing there by her side, holding her hand, and yet also disappearing forever.
“Rose?” the Doctor whispered hoarsely, the impact of the moment not lost on him. He knew how much that other him had just sacrificed, how much he was going to have to sacrifice soon, and he knew how much it must be ripping Rose’s heart in half to watch the TARDIS fade away again…without her.
Brushing away the tears that had slid down her cheeks, she looked back up at him, her Doctor, and smiled weakly. “I’m fine,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat, “I just…I don’t know what to say, Doctor. I’m sorry.”
He rested his hand on her arms, rubbing them in a gentle, comforting manner, “I’m still the Doctor. I’m just slightly different. You loved the Doctor you first met, right? When I was still angry and scarred from the Time War?”
Rose turned her head and looked out to the sea for a moment. Bad Wolf Bay. Her life had ended and begun here far too many times. She took a few moments to take a breath and shove away the sudden desire to run from this place, so afraid that something would happen, so afraid that this Doctor would suddenly disappear as the other had, years ago after the battle of Canary Wharf.
“Rose?” The Doctor’s voice had taken on a desperate, anguished tone that startled her out of her thoughts. She hadn’t known him to be noticeably worried about whether she loved him or not before. It must have been the human part of him bubbling to the surface.
With complete sincerity, she looked up into his eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said in a soft, clear voice, “I loved you even back then, Doctor.”
“Oh good,” he said with a small smile, “I wasn’t alone then.”
She couldn’t help but laugh, and then stopped suddenly when he didn’t share in the moment. He just stood, watching her somberly. There was a small, dull haze of sorrow in his eyes that worried her. “What is it, Doctor?”
The Doctor turned his head and looked to the place the TARDIS had just a moment before been standing, his single heart tightening as he spoke. “I’m just thinking of what he must be feeling right now.”
“I know, it hurts me too, but,” she paused and followed his gaze to that empty space, trying to sound happy for the Doctor that had left her behind, “He’ll be all right, won’t he? He’s still got adventures to go on, and Donna will be there. He’ll be fine.”
The Doctor didn’t respond.
“Doctor?” she whispered, the hope in her voice faltering at his silence, “He’ll be fine, won’t he?”
“Yeah, eventually he’ll be fine. He’s always all right. It’s just–“
“Just what, Doctor?” Rose asked finally, when he seemed unwilling to continue that thought.
The Doctor gulped and wrapped his arms around Rose, more for his own comfort than anything else, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. “Like we said, he’s me and I’m him. I know what he has to do. Donna’s mind is burning up. Humans aren’t meant to have Time Lord minds. Your bodies can’t handle it. She’s dying, Rose, and the only way to save her is to erase her memory of everything that has to do with him…with me…with us. She’ll never remember all the wonderful things she’s seen, or all the people she’s saved, and she can never remember. He’ll be alone again, and the Donna that you met, the Donna that saved his life and his sanity so many times, that helped him to enjoy his adventures again, will only live on in his memory.”
Fresh tears slid down Rose’s cheeks at his words, and she buried her face in his chest as they both cried over the loss of Donna Noble. Soon, they both felt warm arms wrapping around them both as Jackie joined them in mourning, clinging to each other in silence until the setting sun told them it was time to leave this beach, hopefully for the last time.